Get better at the coaching part.
Short, evidence-based tips on the conversations that change behaviour. Each one comes with words to say in session and something to try today.
Use open questions to unlock client insight
Replacing closed yes/no questions with open questions invites clients to explore their own thinking, uncovering goals, barriers, and readiness for change.
Reflect back to show you're really listening
Reflecting what a client says — in your own words — demonstrates genuine understanding and encourages deeper exploration.
Roll with resistance instead of pushing harder
When clients push back, arguing back makes it worse — stepping back and acknowledging their perspective keeps the door open for change.
Elicit change talk by asking for elaboration
When a client expresses any desire, ability, reason, or need to change, asking them to "tell you more" amplifies that motivation.
Tie new habits to existing ones (habit stacking)
Linking a new behaviour to an existing routine dramatically increases follow-through by using established neural pathways as an anchor.
Make the target behaviour ridiculously small to start
Shrinking a new behaviour to its smallest possible form lowers the motivation threshold, making the first repetition almost effortless.
Help clients find their 'why' before the 'what'
Connecting a behaviour goal to a deeper personal value gives it staying power that surface-level goals — lose weight, get fit — never have.
Celebrate non-scale wins to build intrinsic motivation
Acknowledging progress beyond numbers — energy, mood, consistency, confidence — builds the intrinsic motivation that sustains long-term behaviour change.
Ask permission before offering advice
Seeking a client's permission before sharing information or advice shifts the dynamic from expert-to-patient to collaborative, increasing receptivity.
Give feedback on effort, not outcomes
Praising the process — consistency, strategy, problem-solving — builds resilience and a growth mindset; praising outcomes alone builds fragility.
Pull the conversation together with a well-timed summary
A summary reflects the client's whole story back to them at once — making them feel genuinely tracked and helping both coach and client see what matters most.
Help clients notice the gap between where they are and what they value
When clients articulate the distance between their current behaviour and their own values, the motivation to change arises from inside them — not from the coach pushing.
Turn intentions into action with if-then planning
Specifying exactly when, where, and how a behaviour will happen — not just that it will — more than doubles the likelihood of follow-through.
Use scaling questions to make motivation visible
Asking clients to rate their readiness or confidence on a 0–10 scale turns abstract motivation into something tangible — and opens a conversation about exactly what would move the needle.
Help clients plan for setbacks before they happen
Clients who anticipate obstacles and pre-plan their response bounce back from stumbles quickly — instead of treating one missed session as proof that the whole attempt has failed.
Use genuine affirmations to build client confidence
Specific, genuine acknowledgment of a client's strengths reinforces the identity and capability they need to sustain change — but only when it reflects something real the coach has actually observed.
Design the environment to make the right behaviour the easy one
Changing the physical and social context — removing friction from good behaviours and adding it to bad ones — is more reliable than relying on willpower or motivation.
Shift from outcome goals to identity-based habits
Behaviours stick when they reinforce who the client believes they are. Reframing goals as "becoming the kind of person who…" outlasts willpower or external incentives.
Offer choices to support client autonomy
When clients pick between options instead of receiving a single recommendation, they commit more deeply and follow through more reliably — because the plan is theirs.
Use decisional balance to surface ambivalence
Asking clients to weigh the good and not-so-good of both changing AND staying the same surfaces ambivalence honestly — and lets the client, not the coach, argue for change.
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