Help clients find their 'why' before the 'what'
Connecting a behaviour goal to a deeper personal value gives it staying power that surface-level goals — lose weight, get fit — never have.
- When a client states a surface-level outcome goal (lose weight, get fit, get stronger)
- When a client's motivation seems to be fading mid-programme
- When you want to anchor a goal to something personally meaningful
- At the start of a coaching relationship, before setting any specific targets
Most clients arrive with outcome goals: "I want to lose 10kg", "I want to run a 5k", "I want to get stronger." These goals are useful starting points, but they're fragile. When motivation dips, surface goals don't generate the emotional energy needed to push through.
Values-based motivation does. By asking why the goal matters — and then asking why that matters — coaches can help clients access deeper, more durable sources of motivation: being present with family, proving something to themselves, managing stress, feeling confident.
Client: "I want to lose weight." Coach: "What would losing weight give you?" Client: "I'd feel better about myself." Coach: "What does feeling better about yourself make possible?" Client: "I'd be more willing to do things with my kids... I've been saying no to things because I feel embarrassed about how I look." Now the coach has a real 'why'. The weight loss becomes a path to connection and presence, not just a number on a scale.
Word-for-word phrases you can use in session.
- What would achieving that give you?
- And what does that make possible?
- What's really at stake for you here?
Ask each question, then wait fully for the answer before asking the next. Three questions is usually enough — going deeper can start to feel interrogative.
In your next session, after a client states their goal, ask "What would achieving that give you?" three times in succession (each time going deeper). Notice how the answers change.
Add a "values ladder" section to your initial client intake form, with prompts to help clients articulate what's at stake for them personally.
- Pushing too hard when a client isn't ready — 'But WHY is that important to you?' can feel interrogative if the tone is too intense. Keep it warm and curious.
- Assuming you know the why before you've asked — your hypothesis is rarely as rich or as specific as the client's actual answer.
- Using this once and never returning to it — the real power is in referencing the client's own words when motivation dips later in the programme.
Source: Deci, E.L. & Ryan, R.M. (2000). The 'what' and 'why' of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.
Keep reading.
Celebrate non-scale wins to build intrinsic motivation
Acknowledging progress beyond numbers — energy, mood, consistency, confidence — builds the intrinsic motivation that sustains long-term behaviour change.
Use scaling questions to make motivation visible
Asking clients to rate their readiness or confidence on a 0–10 scale turns abstract motivation into something tangible — and opens a conversation about exactly what would move the needle.
Offer choices to support client autonomy
When clients pick between options instead of receiving a single recommendation, they commit more deeply and follow through more reliably — because the plan is theirs.