Help clients find their 'why' before the 'what'
Connecting a behaviour goal to a deeper personal value gives it staying power that surface-level goals — lose weight, get fit — never have.
When to use this
- When a client states a surface-level outcome goal (lose weight, get fit, get stronger)
- When a client's motivation seems to be fading mid-programme
- When you want to anchor a goal to something personally meaningful
- At the start of a coaching relationship, before setting any specific targets
Why this matters
Most clients arrive with outcome goals: "I want to lose 10kg", "I want to run a 5k", "I want to get stronger." These goals are useful starting points, but they're fragile. When motivation dips, surface goals don't generate the emotional energy needed to push through.
Values-based motivation does. By asking why the goal matters — and then asking why that matters — coaches can help clients access deeper, more durable sources of motivation: being present with family, proving something to themselves, managing stress, feeling confident.
In practice
Client: "I want to lose weight." Coach: "What would losing weight give you?" Client: "I'd feel better about myself." Coach: "What does feeling better about yourself make possible?" Client: "I'd be more willing to do things with my kids... I've been saying no to things because I feel embarrassed about how I look." Now the coach has a real 'why'. The weight loss becomes a path to connection and presence, not just a number on a scale.
What to say
Word-for-word phrases you can use in session.
- "What would achieving that give you?
- "And what does that make possible?
- "What's really at stake for you here?
Ask each question, then wait fully for the answer before asking the next. Three questions is usually enough — going deeper can start to feel interrogative.
Source: Deci, E.L. & Ryan, R.M. (2000). The 'what' and 'why' of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.
Try it today
In your next session, after a client states their goal, ask "What would achieving that give you?" three times in succession (each time going deeper). Notice how the answers change.
Make it a habit
Add a "values ladder" section to your initial client intake form, with prompts to help clients articulate what's at stake for them personally.
Watch out for
- Pushing too hard when a client isn't ready — 'But WHY is that important to you?' can feel interrogative if the tone is too intense. Keep it warm and curious.
- Assuming you know the why before you've asked — your hypothesis is rarely as rich or as specific as the client's actual answer.
- Using this once and never returning to it — the real power is in referencing the client's own words when motivation dips later in the programme.
Ready to put this into practice?
Sticky Coach helps you track client habits and conversations — so nothing falls through the cracks.
More tips
Celebrate non-scale wins to build intrinsic motivation
Acknowledging progress beyond numbers — energy, mood, consistency, confidence — builds the intrinsic motivation that sustains long-term behaviour change.
Use scaling questions to make motivation visible
Asking clients to rate their readiness or confidence on a 0–10 scale turns abstract motivation into something tangible — and opens a conversation about exactly what would move the needle.
Use open questions to unlock client insight
Replacing closed yes/no questions with open questions invites clients to explore their own thinking, uncovering goals, barriers, and readiness for change.